420 ftw
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
