tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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