wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
