She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
