i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
