I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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