God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
