Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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