yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
