I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
