do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
