i will never coherently bang her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
