isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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