you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
