Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
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Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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