he puts the penis in happiness.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
