I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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