you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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