I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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