May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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