the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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