So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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