Is it because I queefed?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
