Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
