Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
