The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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