Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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