We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
