real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Randomize