Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
