I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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