so explain again why im purple
no
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
