now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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