I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
