your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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