I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
