My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
