You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
