What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
