HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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