I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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