yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His hands were made for my vagina.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
