There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I pour the whiskey from now on
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
