butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
