Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize