When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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