oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Duck Duck Cougar?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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