at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
