I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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