Where are you?
In a non slutty way
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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