i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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