yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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