Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
