I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
