1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
