all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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