Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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