is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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