Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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