I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
