Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
