I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
