So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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