just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
