she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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