I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
